Just in case anyone who needs to reach us has not heard from Dan and I yet, we are fine & were at home when 35W collapsed yesterday evening. We have heard from all of my family who live in the Twin Cities and spoken or emailed with many of our friends.
Take care of yourselves.
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Thank you
This has been a very difficult time, and it feels like it has been a long ordeal and a short whirlwind all at once. But it has been wonderful to get to know Mom even better through all of the cards, visits, phone calls, and e-messages that her friends and family have left for her. She touched different people's lives in so many different ways, and it is wonderful to see all of those memories together.
I think the only thing that I am sure I want to say right now is to pass along the details of the service and visitation, because that is all the "news" to post. So.
The obituary is posted with the Mankato Free Press. The short version will be printed in Friday's paper and is posted online here.
The long version of the obituary is now posted online.
The visitation will be at Woodland Hills Funeral Home Sunday July 8 at the Woodland Hills Funeral Home from 2-5pm.
The funeral service will be at 10am on Monday at her home church, Belgrade Ave UMC. Burial will follow at Eagle Lake Cemetery and we will return to the church for a luncheon.
If you want to share any specific thoughts or memories with us and others reading the blog, please send them as emails or post them to the blog. We do want to speak with everyone at the services, but in keeping with Mom's love of history and genealogy (and knowing that we are not going to remember everything that people tell us over the next few days) if you can write them down we will be able to treasure those things for a long time.
With love, Heather & Dan
I think the only thing that I am sure I want to say right now is to pass along the details of the service and visitation, because that is all the "news" to post. So.
The obituary is posted with the Mankato Free Press. The short version will be printed in Friday's paper and is posted online here.
The long version of the obituary is now posted online.
The visitation will be at Woodland Hills Funeral Home Sunday July 8 at the Woodland Hills Funeral Home from 2-5pm.
The funeral service will be at 10am on Monday at her home church, Belgrade Ave UMC. Burial will follow at Eagle Lake Cemetery and we will return to the church for a luncheon.
If you want to share any specific thoughts or memories with us and others reading the blog, please send them as emails or post them to the blog. We do want to speak with everyone at the services, but in keeping with Mom's love of history and genealogy (and knowing that we are not going to remember everything that people tell us over the next few days) if you can write them down we will be able to treasure those things for a long time.
With love, Heather & Dan
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
The fourth of July 9:00 am
Linda is resting now with the help of the pain medication, and she is not hurting any more. There were family members here with her throughout the night keeping vigil with her as she lost consciousness. She's putting up quite a fight and her body isn't quite ready to let go of her yet, so we are still waiting for her to be at peace.
We know that it was her decision to be taken off of treatment and put into the hospice program. It's hard to watch her deteriorate but she told the pastors and all of her family that it was time for her to go and she is ready to be done with her illness. We have passed along all of your kind thoughts, prayers, and good memories that you wanted to share with her. She told us late last night that she didn't know how many good friends she really had, and she didn't know how many lives she had touched until now.
She loves you all.
We know that it was her decision to be taken off of treatment and put into the hospice program. It's hard to watch her deteriorate but she told the pastors and all of her family that it was time for her to go and she is ready to be done with her illness. We have passed along all of your kind thoughts, prayers, and good memories that you wanted to share with her. She told us late last night that she didn't know how many good friends she really had, and she didn't know how many lives she had touched until now.
She loves you all.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Tuesday, July 3rd
Hey all,
Mom is comfortable, just changed to a morphine drip to manage the pain better. She appreciates your comments on the blog, we have been reading them to her as they have been coming in throughout the day. She loves and cares for all of you.
Heather and I also thank all of you who have been reading this. We had expected this blog to be a bit further developed at this point when we started it last week.
Mom is comfortable, just changed to a morphine drip to manage the pain better. She appreciates your comments on the blog, we have been reading them to her as they have been coming in throughout the day. She loves and cares for all of you.
Heather and I also thank all of you who have been reading this. We had expected this blog to be a bit further developed at this point when we started it last week.
Tuesday noon
There's not a lot new to say today, but we wanted to make sure you all know what is going on.
Monday night was a long, long night. Even with the morphine she had, Mom was still in a lot of pain and was up a lot during the night. Dan and I were on opposite sides of her bed in a couple of fold-down chairs taking care of her. It's amazing how helpful it was to get a few hours of sleep, but neither of us was able to rest for more than a half hour at a time. I remember that at one point Mom woke up and said "blanket on my feet..." and Dan and I sat upright at the same time, grabbed the sheet on either side, pulled it down over her feet and immediately dropped back down onto our chairs. I think I almost laughed at that but I probably fell back to sleep first.
We are still moving towards hospice care today, but Linda has not yet made the decisions to remove the machines that are helping her stay conscious. Most of her treatment right now is pain management, so she's on a lot of morphine, but she still does have an IV drip and blood sugar level maintenance, along with a few other tubes and machines that she is hooked up to. Once she makes that last decision she will likely fall asleep pretty quickly. I'm just glad that she is being given the time and can ask for the guidance to make that decision and be at peace with it. She's asked to see the chaplain here and is waiting for a couple of visits from pastors.
We've got a borrowed computer set up in the room now most of the time, so when we see your comments we are passing them on to her when she's awake. We are also very grateful for the comments that you make for us, we are checking the blog regularly and taking comfort in your support.
Monday night was a long, long night. Even with the morphine she had, Mom was still in a lot of pain and was up a lot during the night. Dan and I were on opposite sides of her bed in a couple of fold-down chairs taking care of her. It's amazing how helpful it was to get a few hours of sleep, but neither of us was able to rest for more than a half hour at a time. I remember that at one point Mom woke up and said "blanket on my feet..." and Dan and I sat upright at the same time, grabbed the sheet on either side, pulled it down over her feet and immediately dropped back down onto our chairs. I think I almost laughed at that but I probably fell back to sleep first.
We are still moving towards hospice care today, but Linda has not yet made the decisions to remove the machines that are helping her stay conscious. Most of her treatment right now is pain management, so she's on a lot of morphine, but she still does have an IV drip and blood sugar level maintenance, along with a few other tubes and machines that she is hooked up to. Once she makes that last decision she will likely fall asleep pretty quickly. I'm just glad that she is being given the time and can ask for the guidance to make that decision and be at peace with it. She's asked to see the chaplain here and is waiting for a couple of visits from pastors.
We've got a borrowed computer set up in the room now most of the time, so when we see your comments we are passing them on to her when she's awake. We are also very grateful for the comments that you make for us, we are checking the blog regularly and taking comfort in your support.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Dan's Thoughts
So, Heather wrote a bit, very articulate, isn't she?
I am sitting bed side with mom. She is quite a trooper. Not much to say right now, Heather said a lot. Remembering dad dying in 2000, lots of the same signs/appearances.
Everyone, thanks so much for your continued prayers and support as mom makes this transition into the new next stage.
Peace,
Dan
I am sitting bed side with mom. She is quite a trooper. Not much to say right now, Heather said a lot. Remembering dad dying in 2000, lots of the same signs/appearances.
Everyone, thanks so much for your continued prayers and support as mom makes this transition into the new next stage.
Peace,
Dan
Not good news
The turn for the worse that Dan mentioned in his previous post does look to be the beginning of the end. The doctors told us this morning that they have done all they could, and we are in the process moving mom to hospice care (also called palliative care or comfort care). She is suffering from multiple organs failing and has been in a lot of pain. However, she's getting more morphine now that they are not trying to manage her kidney and liver failure any longer, and that's helping her get some rest.
We will be at the hospital with Mom overnight. She's asked that we stay here in the room with her for comfort and assistance if she needs it. Hopefully we will all be able to get a good night's sleep, since they are doing fewer checks and doctor visits now that a decision on her care has been made.
She's really too exhausted for visitors right now. If you want to send a note on the blog we will make an effort to get messages to her as soon as possible. You could also try calling the nurse's station here at the hospital and leaving messages for her that way.
We will be at the hospital with Mom overnight. She's asked that we stay here in the room with her for comfort and assistance if she needs it. Hopefully we will all be able to get a good night's sleep, since they are doing fewer checks and doctor visits now that a decision on her care has been made.
She's really too exhausted for visitors right now. If you want to send a note on the blog we will make an effort to get messages to her as soon as possible. You could also try calling the nurse's station here at the hospital and leaving messages for her that way.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Hell Weekend Redux
Who would have thunk after last weekend that this one could be worse. Perhaps I named that post incorrectly?
We went to Mankato on Friday night, headed straight to the Hospital and found mom with nurses. That was nothing new, more than enough times had we arrived, only to be delayed seeing mom due to her being with nurses. When we were finally able to meet with her she was tired, but happy to see us. We discussed some things and were off to her place to set up the tent in the back yard.
It was a glorious night to sleep outdoors and we did sleep fairly well. We were up to the hospital to meet with the head doctor at 10 am. Dr. Fawazy spoke with us (Heather, Mom, and I) regarding her progress and the possibility of moving mom to St. Peter, to a swing bed facility. Things were looking up, mom was feeling well, in the afternoon she even sat up for a couple of hours again. The three of us had lunch together in the room.
The previous night we noted that mom, when blinking was slower on her left eye than right. We pointed it out to the nurse, and to three of mom's doctors looked at here and had the neurologist come and look at her. He was quite the guy, good humored and had a great bedside manner. After doing quite a bit of reflex testing he stated that there was pressure on the 7th cranial nerve. Unable to run a CAT scan with contrast, because mom's kidney and liver were not working and unable to run and MRI for other reasons, he said that the most likely cause was that there was a tumor putting pressure on the nerve, causing the delay.
Knowing that we decided it would be best for us to head back home to the Twin Cities for some relaxation and time away from the hospital. Sunday morning I called down to mom right away. She was doing well, though had some problems through the night. Her catheter was not working properly, so the nurses had to fix that and her bedding needed to be changed twice during the night, keeping her up. She said she was going to rest the day and did not need us to come down to be with her.
Later in the day I received a call from one of her doctors. Dr. Wadzena (sp), he was the doctor who called the Friday past and let me know about the bone cancer. He said that mom was not doing well, that she appeared to be fading, also that because of all the phone calls that she would like Heather to come down and sit with her and answer the phone for her. Thing is, we live two hours away. I feverishly worked to find a friend's phone number to call and ask her to head up to the hospital and sit with mom for the afternoon/evening. Heather and I made the decision to head down to Mankato first thing Monday morning, July 2nd.
We know what the end of this journey looks like, we do not know how long it will be. I find myself praying constantly to god. Just lamenting, wanting to be out of the woods, wanting clarity. I guess that is something that is only granted in hindsight.
Thanks for reading, feel free to post comments below, I like to think someone is reading this.
Dan
We went to Mankato on Friday night, headed straight to the Hospital and found mom with nurses. That was nothing new, more than enough times had we arrived, only to be delayed seeing mom due to her being with nurses. When we were finally able to meet with her she was tired, but happy to see us. We discussed some things and were off to her place to set up the tent in the back yard.
It was a glorious night to sleep outdoors and we did sleep fairly well. We were up to the hospital to meet with the head doctor at 10 am. Dr. Fawazy spoke with us (Heather, Mom, and I) regarding her progress and the possibility of moving mom to St. Peter, to a swing bed facility. Things were looking up, mom was feeling well, in the afternoon she even sat up for a couple of hours again. The three of us had lunch together in the room.
The previous night we noted that mom, when blinking was slower on her left eye than right. We pointed it out to the nurse, and to three of mom's doctors looked at here and had the neurologist come and look at her. He was quite the guy, good humored and had a great bedside manner. After doing quite a bit of reflex testing he stated that there was pressure on the 7th cranial nerve. Unable to run a CAT scan with contrast, because mom's kidney and liver were not working and unable to run and MRI for other reasons, he said that the most likely cause was that there was a tumor putting pressure on the nerve, causing the delay.
Knowing that we decided it would be best for us to head back home to the Twin Cities for some relaxation and time away from the hospital. Sunday morning I called down to mom right away. She was doing well, though had some problems through the night. Her catheter was not working properly, so the nurses had to fix that and her bedding needed to be changed twice during the night, keeping her up. She said she was going to rest the day and did not need us to come down to be with her.
Later in the day I received a call from one of her doctors. Dr. Wadzena (sp), he was the doctor who called the Friday past and let me know about the bone cancer. He said that mom was not doing well, that she appeared to be fading, also that because of all the phone calls that she would like Heather to come down and sit with her and answer the phone for her. Thing is, we live two hours away. I feverishly worked to find a friend's phone number to call and ask her to head up to the hospital and sit with mom for the afternoon/evening. Heather and I made the decision to head down to Mankato first thing Monday morning, July 2nd.
We know what the end of this journey looks like, we do not know how long it will be. I find myself praying constantly to god. Just lamenting, wanting to be out of the woods, wanting clarity. I guess that is something that is only granted in hindsight.
Thanks for reading, feel free to post comments below, I like to think someone is reading this.
Dan
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Thursday the 28th.
Mom had a stomach biopsy done this morning. When I spoke with her at lunch she had just gotten back into the room and was waking up. For breakfast she had eggs and toast, she said both were tough, as in rubbery. They had gotten quite cold in the process of everything she did in the morning. For dinner she had chicken stir fry. She said it really didn't taste like anything and she was able to eat it. Her taste buds may be on the fritz due to everything else going on with her body.
There is discussion on moving her to St. Peter, to a swing bed facility at the hospital there. Mom really would like St. Peter because it is a smaller facility. Along with this, as she is getting better the options for treatment of the bone cancer are opening up. The doctors are hoping to start chemo as soon as a month from now.
Thats all for now, Heather and I will be in Mankato this weekend to see mom, and will keep you updated.
There is discussion on moving her to St. Peter, to a swing bed facility at the hospital there. Mom really would like St. Peter because it is a smaller facility. Along with this, as she is getting better the options for treatment of the bone cancer are opening up. The doctors are hoping to start chemo as soon as a month from now.
Thats all for now, Heather and I will be in Mankato this weekend to see mom, and will keep you updated.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
The weekend from hell
We called mom before heading down to the hospital, she was worried. When we got to the hospital mom was exhausted. The battery of tests had really worn on her. She was weak and slow to speak. The next morning we met with one of her doctors. He was painting a dire picture for us. She may not leave the hospital, alive. Hospice should be brought up with your mom. He said the cancer had metastasized over bones throughout her body, and quite possibly her liver too.
For years my mom had been meeting with a doctor at the UofM hospital who specialized in liver transplants. I knew something was up with the liver, just not what. Now it appeared as though her liver was on the brink of failure, her white blood cell count kept climbing, an indicator of infection, and she was unable to digest even a liquid diet, ten full days after her surgery. The surgery site wound was having troubles healing, the staff is literally opening up the wound and cleaning it out because her body is unable to do so. We were interrupted from visiting with my mom numerous times by nurses doing their thing. Throughout the day we took breaks and headed over to the house to look through paperwork.
This also was the day of the local stage race for the Great River Energy Bicycle Festival/Nature Valley Grand Prix, so we headed down the hill to check things out. The route was 75 miles around towns I had spent some time in growing up, and I had family connections to many of the small towns, I decided not to bore heather with all the gruesome details. The final bit of the race is in Mankato proper, four laps, each time straight up Main Street Hill, a hill so steep that before fuel injection technology cars would have to go up hill in reverse so that the gas would feed into the engine.
With heavy hearts we headed back to the hotel for the evening, to try to relax in the hot tub and pool, and prepare for the big benefit for mom at her church in the morning. The hardest part of this was that mom didn't want everyone to know about the bone cancer. We decided to tell some folks and keep things from others. This pained me because I believe that the power of naming something allows people to understand and cope with it better.
The benefit was to be held at Belgrade Avenue United Methodist Church. The church I grew up in, and where my mom has been a member since the mid 70's. A family friend suggested that an organization that she is affiliated with could generate matching funds. Most of the congregation came down for breakfast, I was able to see many folks I had not seen for a very long time, some who I had met only once or Mom had spoken about over the phone. Mom's mother showed up along with her sister and eldest niece. At the end of the event well over the matching amount was raised, so my mom will have the ability to catch up on some bills that she is behind on.
Exhausted, and wanting to have some fun on our 7th wedding anniversary we headed back home to visit with friends at Izzy's Ice Cream Cafe and the 7th annual people's choice awards. See the thing is, among our circle of friends, ice cream plays an important role. So much in fact that some of our friends submitted flavors to this competition, and the man who coined the term ice cream stomach was there with his flavor "Marshberry and Cash." So we had to go, in an attempt to garner this man some votes to win the competition. Alas, he did not win the grand prize, but his flavor did win the category.
Finally getting home we called mom again, she had many visitors was tired, but was doing OK. We were very concerned that the cancer would conquer mom, we were wanting every contact with her to be a gift.
For years my mom had been meeting with a doctor at the UofM hospital who specialized in liver transplants. I knew something was up with the liver, just not what. Now it appeared as though her liver was on the brink of failure, her white blood cell count kept climbing, an indicator of infection, and she was unable to digest even a liquid diet, ten full days after her surgery. The surgery site wound was having troubles healing, the staff is literally opening up the wound and cleaning it out because her body is unable to do so. We were interrupted from visiting with my mom numerous times by nurses doing their thing. Throughout the day we took breaks and headed over to the house to look through paperwork.
This also was the day of the local stage race for the Great River Energy Bicycle Festival/Nature Valley Grand Prix, so we headed down the hill to check things out. The route was 75 miles around towns I had spent some time in growing up, and I had family connections to many of the small towns, I decided not to bore heather with all the gruesome details. The final bit of the race is in Mankato proper, four laps, each time straight up Main Street Hill, a hill so steep that before fuel injection technology cars would have to go up hill in reverse so that the gas would feed into the engine.
With heavy hearts we headed back to the hotel for the evening, to try to relax in the hot tub and pool, and prepare for the big benefit for mom at her church in the morning. The hardest part of this was that mom didn't want everyone to know about the bone cancer. We decided to tell some folks and keep things from others. This pained me because I believe that the power of naming something allows people to understand and cope with it better.
The benefit was to be held at Belgrade Avenue United Methodist Church. The church I grew up in, and where my mom has been a member since the mid 70's. A family friend suggested that an organization that she is affiliated with could generate matching funds. Most of the congregation came down for breakfast, I was able to see many folks I had not seen for a very long time, some who I had met only once or Mom had spoken about over the phone. Mom's mother showed up along with her sister and eldest niece. At the end of the event well over the matching amount was raised, so my mom will have the ability to catch up on some bills that she is behind on.
Exhausted, and wanting to have some fun on our 7th wedding anniversary we headed back home to visit with friends at Izzy's Ice Cream Cafe and the 7th annual people's choice awards. See the thing is, among our circle of friends, ice cream plays an important role. So much in fact that some of our friends submitted flavors to this competition, and the man who coined the term ice cream stomach was there with his flavor "Marshberry and Cash." So we had to go, in an attempt to garner this man some votes to win the competition. Alas, he did not win the grand prize, but his flavor did win the category.
Finally getting home we called mom again, she had many visitors was tired, but was doing OK. We were very concerned that the cancer would conquer mom, we were wanting every contact with her to be a gift.
June 14-June22
After welcoming mom back to the waking after her surgery, we headed back home, 1.5 hours away from the hospital. Arriving home we were glad that everything went well with the surgery and mom was doing well and very alert when she woke up.
The next day was tiring at work, but calling down to the hospital it was discovered that she was doing well and recuperating at a very quick pace. Friday the 15th she was moved out of the ICU and had even taken a bit of a stroll down the hall. I had to work my weekend job so we did not go down to visit her until Sunday. We were planning to visit the following weekend, when her church was going to be holding a benefit breakfast to raise funds to assist mom during her time off from work.
Early the week of June 18 mom was not doing so well. On the 19th she did something I had never really heard her do before, she complained about how bad she felt. The doctors had found something amiss, her white blood cell count was up, and had been climbing since the day of surgery. They had ordered a regimen of tests, X-Rays, bone scans, and blood tests, and my mom was finding the whole situation absolutely exhausting. There were so many nurses and doctors in to see her that she had no idea how many, much less who, she had seen.
Now please understand mom is good with names and people and such. She keeps telling me about the lives of people I met, once, fifteen years ago, their trials and tribulations. Then she will ask me about college and high school acquaintances that she meet at graduation, or saw in my yearbooks and wants to know how they are doing.
This was an issue, she was loosing strength, the doctors kept taking her off of the liquid diet and relying on getting her nutrition through her I.V.
On Friday the 22nd of June I got a call that I was not expecting. My mom's friend Lee Ann called and left me a voice mail on my cell phone saying I should call her back as soon as possible. I immediately left the office and called her back. My mom had been diagnosed with bone cancer. The bladder cancer had spread, and was all over her body in her bones. The only treatment was chemotherapy. The only way to even consider this was for my mom to recover from the surgery she had on the 13th. Things appeared dire. We made the decision to head down to the hospital that evening and spend the weekend in town, getting things ready for the inevitable.
The next day was tiring at work, but calling down to the hospital it was discovered that she was doing well and recuperating at a very quick pace. Friday the 15th she was moved out of the ICU and had even taken a bit of a stroll down the hall. I had to work my weekend job so we did not go down to visit her until Sunday. We were planning to visit the following weekend, when her church was going to be holding a benefit breakfast to raise funds to assist mom during her time off from work.
Early the week of June 18 mom was not doing so well. On the 19th she did something I had never really heard her do before, she complained about how bad she felt. The doctors had found something amiss, her white blood cell count was up, and had been climbing since the day of surgery. They had ordered a regimen of tests, X-Rays, bone scans, and blood tests, and my mom was finding the whole situation absolutely exhausting. There were so many nurses and doctors in to see her that she had no idea how many, much less who, she had seen.
Now please understand mom is good with names and people and such. She keeps telling me about the lives of people I met, once, fifteen years ago, their trials and tribulations. Then she will ask me about college and high school acquaintances that she meet at graduation, or saw in my yearbooks and wants to know how they are doing.
This was an issue, she was loosing strength, the doctors kept taking her off of the liquid diet and relying on getting her nutrition through her I.V.
On Friday the 22nd of June I got a call that I was not expecting. My mom's friend Lee Ann called and left me a voice mail on my cell phone saying I should call her back as soon as possible. I immediately left the office and called her back. My mom had been diagnosed with bone cancer. The bladder cancer had spread, and was all over her body in her bones. The only treatment was chemotherapy. The only way to even consider this was for my mom to recover from the surgery she had on the 13th. Things appeared dire. We made the decision to head down to the hospital that evening and spend the weekend in town, getting things ready for the inevitable.
The reason for all this
Greetings and welcome to Foster Mom Health. It is my hope with this blog to let everyone know what is going on with my mom's health, what I am feeling, and how I am coping with all these new changes.
As many of you know on June 13th my mom, Linda Foster, had surgery to remove her bladder, uterus, ovaries, right kidney, lymph nodes, and part of her intestine in an effort to rid her body of a particularly virulent case of bladder cancer. This was her fourth cancer related surgery, third for bladder cancer. Previously in October of 2006 and February of 2007 she had tumors removed from the bladder and and followed up each with a six week treatment of BCG, a biological therapy for cancer. The cancer came back wildly after each treatment of BCG. It was decided to remove her bladder to stop the recurrence of the cancer. This led to the ten hour surgery she underwent on June 13th.
As many of you know on June 13th my mom, Linda Foster, had surgery to remove her bladder, uterus, ovaries, right kidney, lymph nodes, and part of her intestine in an effort to rid her body of a particularly virulent case of bladder cancer. This was her fourth cancer related surgery, third for bladder cancer. Previously in October of 2006 and February of 2007 she had tumors removed from the bladder and and followed up each with a six week treatment of BCG, a biological therapy for cancer. The cancer came back wildly after each treatment of BCG. It was decided to remove her bladder to stop the recurrence of the cancer. This led to the ten hour surgery she underwent on June 13th.
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